Tuesday morning I didn't feel very well. I could see Wednesday coming up - the two-year anniversary of my dad's death. Lost in those memories, worrying about the virus, knowing that the very best plan for our country is probably a two-month stay-at-home, plus a little bit of sore throat: my breakfast wasn't too pleasant.
Additionally, Monday night our air conditioning stopped working. I spent most of the morning calling for help with that, finally got our reliable a.c. guy to promise to visit Tuesday afternoon, and of course it started working again as soon as he arrived. (This feels like calling the copier repair guy to come to the office and having the damn thing start working as soon as he comes through the door.)
Anyway, by Tuesday evening we were all cooled off, I felt better, and after all, what else did I have to do all day but fret about the a.c.? Nothing.
Yesterday, Wednesday, was a better day. We ventured out to Tallahassee Nurseries where the young people (invincible all) are cheerfully keeping their distance but are palpably NOT worried. Whatever. We purchased our plants and made a quick getaway. They aren't much, but just getting them planted felt like progress.
Also activity is stirring again in the nonprofit to which I generally devote my spare time. We are working statewide to offer at least our support groups to families and their loved ones who are struggling to cope with mental illnesses that are difficult to manage even in the best of times. Speaking with colleagues even on Zoom feels like human contact, and that cheers me.
So today I am listing the elements of my "normal" life which are most important to me and contemplating how COVID-19 has affected them:
1. Sleep. No question that I am getting more of this. One of life's miseries is getting up in the dark. So far, my fur baby is cooperating, and we sleep until the sun is up. I'm not even tempted to nap during the day - a miracle!
2. Time in the morning. Morning is the best time of day for me, always has been. As the days get longer, I'll probably get up earlier (see above about getting up in the dark.) It's not the clock time, it's the daylight. When the sun comes up earlier, I will be up earlier. And I can have my breakfast, drink coffee, read the paper (in print, always), check my email, etc., etc. I don't care if it takes me until noon. This is a luxury, no question.
3. Time to read. Never enough. Now there's enough. And that's enough said.
4. Gazing out my window. Daydreaming.
5. TV. I admit it - we are addicts.
What I miss: Going out to lunch with friends. Figuring out which nights in a week I don't have to cook (cooking is not my thing). Feeling free to just grab a protein bar when I'm between meetings and don't have time for lunch. Having the house to MYSELF while the hubs is out doing his thing. (I know this is a problem many people who live alone would love to have - but I still miss a little bit of alone time.) Listening to NPR on my radio as I flit about town (I know I could listen at home, but I just don't seem to. This is weird. I MISS NPR.) OLLI classes - for learning, for socializing, for walking around the beautiful FSU campus. Calling for pizza every once in a while and not being afraid of touching the box (so we just don't do it). Haircuts. Pedicures. Seeing the grandchildren.
What I hate: Worrying about my adult children, several of whom are in high-risk jobs. Worrying that someone will get laid off. Worrying that someone will get sick. Worrying that I will get sick, and worrying how on earth the hubs would manage if that happened. Worrying that I will contract the virus while grocery shopping, but not really trusting the delivery service. Waiting for the inevitable day where I will learn that someone I know and value, or that I don't know very well, has tested positive. It's that other shoe ....
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