I woke up today in a somewhat better frame of mind. It's just the habit of my old self; I have always enjoyed Monday, a nice fresh day in a nice new week. So after a dog walk and breakfast, I filled the hummingbird feeder for the first time this year. An actual accomplishment!
Then I made myself sit at the computer and look at emails that have accumulated for several days, There are some requests for information, one promising volunteer submission for the nonprofit I am involved with, and am invitation to an online support group meeting on Wednesday and a videoconference meeting on Friday. I have finished reading my current book, made lunch, plan to venture out to a still-open plant nursery to buy some plants, and maybe even plant something, if not today, then certainly tomorrow. I have started reading a new book, and have resumed writing in this journal. The day seems fuller.
As a very busy retiree, I have had days when I would think, what would happen if I just quit all of this and walked away, spent my days here at home, reading, watching TV, puttering around? Now I think I know. Here is my thought: what if life as we knew it doesn't really up where it left off? What if this experience changes us (for the better, hopefully)? What if I am finally able to let go, relax, pull away, sleep more, exercise more, read more? And then I think - nope, probably not.
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