Five-minute free writes, Day 9 - "Join"

This is a total trigger word for me - "join."  I swear that when I am asked to join anything, whether it be a club, a movement, a church, even just a dinner party, my knee-jerk reaction is "yes."

This impulse has gotten me into trouble many times over my life. Yet, I do not learn.

I joined a club a few years ago (and in my defense, I had said "no" many times to the friend who kept after me about it) and I tried, I really tried, to fit in.  This group has, at first glance, the purest of missions and the kindest of members. For me, however, the whole vibe was just uncomfortable and unengaging.  These folks seemed to actually play at good works - they reminded me of friends of my mother, way back in the 1950s.  The good deed ladies, in fact.

The true passion with this club was in the minutiae of their bylaws, the real and imagined slights in their conversations with each other, the wrestling to bring their own passions to the forefront of the planned events - and on and on and on.  Lots and lots of energy was wasted. Some good things were accomplished. But frankly, I didn't even want to have lunch with most of them.

The problem with joining is un-joining.  It's not pretty.  Since many groups count their members as though they are assets, numbers to plump up reports with, they are extremely reluctant to let go.  That club still calls me .....