I see by the calendar that it's been 2.5 weeks since I posted to this journal - a rather hectic 2.5 weeks in which my (virtual) activity level has been ramped up considerably.
We at NAMI Tallahassee have partnered with the other NAMI affiliates between Tally and the Alabama border to launch online support groups, hoping to reach folks in rural counties (of which there are quite a few) who have no other access to mental health support - certainly not many which are free, as ours are. This has proven to be a huge task and one for which I'm not suited. The technology part just wears me out. Some days, I've had waaay more conversations on the phone and on videoconferencing than I wish. Then there are the Zoom meetings with family (once a week), the OLLI book club on Zoom (once a month), the Skype calls for the Mental Health Council, the telehealth doc appointments - it's exhausting.
And strangely, I've almost come to resent any disturbance to the quiet around here. We are both sleeping a lot, working puzzles, doing a little bit of yard work, etc., etc. Trudy takes some attention, although she's a good dog and not too needy. I do a lot of reading and thinking and yelling at the TV. And I must continually try to replenish my already-low-level well of patience as I deal with the hub's anxiety and lack of engagement. I can see him regressing to pre-gym levels of lethargy.
In fact, that is my strongest wish, to have his gym re-open. The boxing program he attends three times a week has made a huge difference in both his physical and mental condition. He was really on a roll, then, boom, nothing. The gym offers two thirty-minute sessions on Zoom every week, and that's helping, but just barely.
I'm beginning to feel a little more like there's an actual future ahead, though. I know that our country cannot continue on its present course for very much longer. What we are asking ourselves to do flies in the face of human nature. We are social creatures, and we need to work. This is perceived wisdom in my world; I spend a lot of time advocating for people with disabilities who NEED to work. I don't know if it's cultural or actually something on the DNA level, but American adults, for the most part, need to be at least a little bit busy. It goes beyond the actual system of survival in our country, where if you don't work, you don't eat (or at least not very well). It seems that most of us, even the kids, just miss having something to do. Period.
SO - unstoppable force meets unmovable object, and something has to give. My money is on the quarantine's collapse.
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